Autumn 2020 Newsletter

Chairman’s message
Chris Bellamy

Letter to NT Director General and Trustees

Director General’s reply
Hilary McGrady

Do you like asking questions?
David Simmonds

Newsletter Editor’s note
Paul Chaplin

Return of deposits
Paul Chaplin

The Unmasked Raiders
Shirley Deering

A Dip in the Economy
Shirley Deering

The Unmasked Raiders
Shirley Deering

Previous article

“Right, Fingers, let us check we’ve got everything we need for the raid on the Post Office.”

“Sorry, Boss, couldn’t get face masks or rubber gloves anywhere. All the supermarkets and pharmacies are sold out because of the pandemic.”

“Did you think of trying for garden gloves?”

“All the garden centres have closed down.”

“Oh, well, we’ll just have to wrap scarves round our faces and wear socks on our hands. Did you get the plastic carrier bag?”

“Sorry, Boss, they’re like gold dust these days, all I could get was a hessian shopping bag.”

“But you got the cucumber?”

“Sold out. But I did manage to find a stick of rhubarb.”

“I can make a stick of rhubarb in a hessian shopping bag look like a gun. We may have to rely on our mesmerising appearances to frighten the Post Office staff. I’ll see what I can do with it whilst you put a sock on your hand and write the note.”

“Boss, I can’t write with a sock on my hand.”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Fingers, it’s only one sentence in capital letters, not state-of-the-art calligraphy. We don’t want the cops finding your dabs all over the paper and recognising your writing.

“Now let me see if I can do anything with this rhubarb and the shopping bag. Hmm, not very effective, but as long as we don’t let anyone get a good look at it, it might work.”

“I’ve done the note, Boss.”

“Let’s have a look.”

THIS IS A STICK-UP HAND OVR THE MUNY

“Fingers, your spelling is appalling, don’t you know there is an ‹e’ in ‘over’?”

“Sorry, Boss, shall I do it again?”

“No time, the Post Office is closing early during the lockdown so we’d better get a move on.”

“Boss, I’m worried. I’ve got a bad feeling this is not going to go well and we shall be picked up very quickly.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because we’re going to be so obvious. We’ll be the only ones in the High Street not wearing a facemask and rubber gloves.”

Unshaven man looking through bars

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